! The Disclaimer-Don't-Worry-We're-Still-As-Close-To-Sane-As-We-Usually-Are ! Page:
For the love of Bob, no. No no no.
It's just recently come to our attention that Zach is, along with being a Hot Slutmuffin, the proud owner of what might possibly be deemed the "Sexiest Voice Ev-ar".
This is according to some odd, impartial sources, anyway.
So, we decided that Zach needed a…fan club.
And here we are.
Now, on with the Fan Club.
OH MY GAWD. Like, Zach so TOTALLY loves this song! Like, oh my gawd!
"I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would admire, I thought it classic…"
And like, Zach is just, like, the emo-est person. EVER. Like, oh my gawd!
But, like, I feel really really bad, because, like, everyone thinks his voice is like, SOOO sexy, and I'm like, "Oh my gawd, what?" and I don't know what's wrong with me? Because like, I let my friend Catie listen to him talk about this (fabulously entertaining!) encounter he had at, like, Mcdonalds? And like, she went "OH MYGOD, he's got, like, the SEXIEST VOICE EVER! Sexy Sexy!" and like, "Oh my god, is he, like, half as sexy as he sounds?" and I'm like "Oh, totally! But like, he's thirteen." And she's like "Ew" and I'm like "I know!" and she's like "But he's still like, SOO sexy" and I'm like "Oh, like, totally sexy!" and we were like "SEXY!" and I was like "Dude, should we, like, use some word other than 'sexy'?" and she's like "Like, maybe." And I'm like "Totally" and she's like "But what other word could we use?" and I'm like "Maybe he's really just sexy and that's it" and she's like "totally."
And she, like, wants his e-mail address. She's, like, seriously attracted to him. Because, of like, his superdupersexy voice.
And I'm like "but it's Zach!" and, like, I'm not attracted to his superdupersexy voice, and, like he is like…whoa.
*dazed and confused look*